I feel this may be a little bit of a sad post, as well at this moment I feel a bit down, yesterday I felt great but today I feel like Poo poo.
The feeling of being alone strikes me now and again, and today it's hit me how alone I truly am.
This is going to sound all depressed and dreary but Maaf( sorry).
So I haven't got many friends over here, which saddens me a little. I just don't know how to make friends here, I struggled to make new friends in England when i could speak the language and here I am in Indonesia not able to really articulate what I want to say into anything but mumble jumble.
I know that I have a problem with the way I act with new people, people will mistake it for snobbery or arrogant but it's not I am a really shy person when I meet new people, I worry that I am not interesting or clever enough to be talking to people- those are the thoughts in my head when I meet new people. It takes me a while to be myself with new people, I wish I was the type of person who could just talk to anybody... But I can't... I don't know how to.
I am of course taking steps to try and make friends, in two weeks i am due to start Indonesian lessons, and I am going to Yoga, I really want to join a sports club or team, but not many Indonesian women play sports here, only men which is not cool as they are stare at me!
So if anyone has any ideas on how i can interact more with people then lemme me know!
Hmmm, well gotta go, I had to talk to someone, so I chose all of you!
xxx
Thursday 18 March 2010
Thursday 4 March 2010
Freedom and Knowledge
So it's dawned on me that I have been over here for four months now, It's gone so fast I can't believe it. Life seems to just whizz by at a super fast speed.
So four months gone, what have I achieved? What has changed?
1. I can now drive a scooter alone, so have been whizzing around jogja trying to discover new places and new things to try- Did Yoga today and my body is killing me... waaaaa.... Plus I couldn't understand half of what the instructor was saying so that made the lesson a little harder!
2. Confidence to use my shaky Bahasa Indonesian- at first I got really paranoid that people would laugh at me( they do) but it's all cool, I must sound a little funny. Although Bahasa is the one of the easiest languages to learn I am still having trouble to remember half of it.... Hmmm maybe my brain is just not big enough.
3. After teaching little children for a while now, I come to discover I want children... ha ha... I came to Indonesia not wanting them- oh how teaching little ones can make you maternal!!
4. I have become a little bit more patient... But that is more to do with the fact that everyone moves at a snails pace( apart from the roads) so I have been forced to follow suit.
5. Indonesian people are really the most friendly and helpful people I know!
One bad thing though here is that I just don't want to eat, I don't really seem to want to eat the lovely food that is here, so as a result I have lost a fair amount of weight, which is not cool.....
So I need to stuff my face with food to keep the energy and weight on my body... as anyone who knew me from the Itsu days- knows that I can get very skinny!!! Arrrrggghhh... Pizza hut here I come!!
Another part of my life that has changed is the whole budgeting thing, I get paid a good sum for Indonesia BUT i need to save money to go to Hong Kong in November which is not cheap when u are on the Indonesian currency of Rupiah, also I need to save for another years rent for my house to be paid in December, so I am not loving this saving 50% of my salary thing... I want to buy clothes...
24 is looming around the corner for me, and I am not happy about it!! 24 what? when did that happen? I am actually an adult now, and that thought alone scares the shit out of me. My age is not the only thing that is changing... My mind too, instead of obsessing over my hair, I am obsessing whether I should buy a washing machine or how will I get the garden fixed up.... Or do I have enough food in the fridge for everyone. I simply don't like it I want to think like a 18year old again!
Ok Guys, hope everyone is ok!!
Lots of Love xxx
So four months gone, what have I achieved? What has changed?
1. I can now drive a scooter alone, so have been whizzing around jogja trying to discover new places and new things to try- Did Yoga today and my body is killing me... waaaaa.... Plus I couldn't understand half of what the instructor was saying so that made the lesson a little harder!
2. Confidence to use my shaky Bahasa Indonesian- at first I got really paranoid that people would laugh at me( they do) but it's all cool, I must sound a little funny. Although Bahasa is the one of the easiest languages to learn I am still having trouble to remember half of it.... Hmmm maybe my brain is just not big enough.
3. After teaching little children for a while now, I come to discover I want children... ha ha... I came to Indonesia not wanting them- oh how teaching little ones can make you maternal!!
4. I have become a little bit more patient... But that is more to do with the fact that everyone moves at a snails pace( apart from the roads) so I have been forced to follow suit.
5. Indonesian people are really the most friendly and helpful people I know!
One bad thing though here is that I just don't want to eat, I don't really seem to want to eat the lovely food that is here, so as a result I have lost a fair amount of weight, which is not cool.....
So I need to stuff my face with food to keep the energy and weight on my body... as anyone who knew me from the Itsu days- knows that I can get very skinny!!! Arrrrggghhh... Pizza hut here I come!!
Another part of my life that has changed is the whole budgeting thing, I get paid a good sum for Indonesia BUT i need to save money to go to Hong Kong in November which is not cheap when u are on the Indonesian currency of Rupiah, also I need to save for another years rent for my house to be paid in December, so I am not loving this saving 50% of my salary thing... I want to buy clothes...
24 is looming around the corner for me, and I am not happy about it!! 24 what? when did that happen? I am actually an adult now, and that thought alone scares the shit out of me. My age is not the only thing that is changing... My mind too, instead of obsessing over my hair, I am obsessing whether I should buy a washing machine or how will I get the garden fixed up.... Or do I have enough food in the fridge for everyone. I simply don't like it I want to think like a 18year old again!
Ok Guys, hope everyone is ok!!
Lots of Love xxx
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